How to Holiday 101

The old adage is write what you know, so herewith are my top party season tips. In no particular order and for no other reason than this is on my brain after seeing a story on decoding what to wear for different kinds of parties.

  1. Uber. Lyft. Put numbers in phones now. Nothing like a vomiting or incoherent friend to ruin a fun night. Have cash for a cab, too.
  2. A “yes” reply to a Facebook event does not a ticket entry into event make. If it reads register here or go to this link, do it.
  3. Print addresses and directions or send to phone ahead of time. Hosts don’t have time to look at your “where is it again” texts or pick up the phone.
  4. If you are vege, vegan, lactose intolerant, gluten free (please Google the Southpark gluten free and Randy episode) eat before you go and don’t expect host to change menu or make exceptions for you. If good friends are hosting, they already know what you don’t eat. If acquaintances, they likely don’t care. Push a fork around the plate and make lively conversation. No one will notice.
  5. Always, always have a hostess gift on hand. Wine. Booze. Chocolate. Flowers, A Baguette, A Candle, Dishtowels, Nuts, Coffee, Fudge, a Pie, Banana Bread, Preserves. A cheese array. You will be invited back unless you fail to follow #1 above.
  6. Ask if you can bring a plus one to the party or dinner, don’t assume. And while we’re at it, you CAN go to events solo. Great to have a date you like but if you don’t and want to see everybody, for God sakes GO to the party or function. We would rather see you than your date anyway.
  7. Do your best to find your host prior to leaving gathering even if you are only there for 15 minutes and thank him or her for invite. I am a professional popper – inner. I have a great FOMO combined with a lot of friends who throw parties, so I say howdy do, kiss kiss, hug hug, thanks and go. See #5, also.
  8. If invite says black tie it means dark suit acceptable. Please don’t wear brown, though. Pretty much ever. If it says tuxedo it means wear a tuxedo. If it says tails I’m not sure what party you’re attending in Louisville as I don’t think we have those.
  1. Ladies, this is the time to pull out your “I love this dress so much, but am saving it for a really special occasion” and OWN IT.
  2. Glitter really does change lives.
  3. Think about sponsoring a family for the holidays. The Volunteers of America family shelter needs gifts and gift cards for the homeless children who live there. www.voa.org.
  4. Donate to Kentucky Harvest. The organization feeds a lot of families through donations around Metro Louisville.
  5. If your friend isn’t materialistic or you don’t know what to get as a gift, donate to his or her favorite charity.
  6. Regift. There is enough detritus in the world. Save the earth.
  7. Think about the landscape when buying gifts and wrapping. Skip the cute shopping bag and ask to wrap in tissue or just hang or ask for smallest bag the store has. Use materials on hand to wrap, use leaves and pinecones and branches and berries to garnish and cloth ribbons are good all year round. A great gift for the green people in your world is a membership here: Yew Dell Gardens www.yewdellgardens.org
  8. Think twice about sending cards and photos. I love all my people. I do not need a card. Or a photo. Email if you must, but really a text will do.
  9. Secret Santa? Just Say No.
  10. Dirty Santa? Oh Hark the Herald Angels Sing Yes!
  11. Smile at everybody you meet and give them a silent blessing. Tough time for a lot of folks who are reminded of who they love and lost.
  12. Tip well! Minimum 15 percent. Twenty is the right thing to do.
  13. I have it on good authority that if you child writes to Santa Claus and includes a return address and mails the letter via US mail, Santa will write back.
  14. Go caroling! It is super fun.
  15. Caroling means a lot of selfies, and an exhausted battery in your smartphone. Keep a charger handy.
  16. Don’t post unflattering photos of your friends even if it is the BEST picture of you ever.
  17. Frame the photo and article of your friend who made a cover story, launched a business, achieved a milestone and give it for a holiday gift. Always good for office walls (along with local art that doesn’t have to match the furniture!).
  18. No need to hide the cocktail or put it down prior to photos. It’s a party.
  19. Revelry has adorable stockings and ornaments right now. Regalo has the best t shirts. Crafts gallery has moderately priced, handmade, lovely gifts from local artists. Cellar Door Chocolates are a can’t go wrong gift absent diabetes. Elva Fields jewelry will make your lady swoon. Green Lady flowers does one of a kind organic bouquets (please skip the dyed daisies people. Egad) Cake Flour has a ready made bakery case out on Lime Kiln. Skyn Lounge gift certificates make great stocking stuffers and Rainbow Blossom will help you put a gift basket together for your healthy friends. I get all my baby gifts from www.shopmilkandbaby.com and for the 0 – toddlers one can’t go wrong at The Diaper Fairy cottage on Bardstown Road. Find all of these businesses and more at www.glowlouisville.com
  20. BUY LOCAL. Join LIBA. Keep Louisville Weird.
  21. Hand written Thank You notes..
  22. Get a jump on your New Year’s Resolution(s). Why wait for an artificial date to press the start button on what you want to happen in your life? Join that gym, go for that run, take a class, book that trip, invest money each month from your pay or income, eat nutritious food, hire an organizer, work on your business plan. If not now when, right?

Photos provided by Paul Sizemore

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